February Sucked

If you follow my other blog, you’ll know that for the tail end of January and most of February I was away at ALC in Oklahoma, you can read about that [here].   But even in REAL LIFE the month of February was most unpleasant.  There really is so much I could potentially write about, but I’ll try to summarize the best that I can in bullet form.

1. February tricked me as it started off good.  Got my tax return just before the end of January (which to was a relatively not so glamorous month), and paid off both My Living Room set AND Bedroom set.

2. Then I went to ALC in Oklahoma. Like I said… It was retarded.

3. The girls were sick for almost an entire month and projectile vomiting, and managed to destroy our pretty badassery lamp in the living room.  Due to my quest in Oklahoma, it kinda sucked knowing there wasn’t anything I could do.

4.  I (and Whittney) had to put up with Whittney’s ex texting / sending multiple nude pictures of himself in combination with random verbal propositions.  Surprisingly that wasn’t the suckie part. The suckie part for me was knowing that not only did Whittney feel violated,  but that she didn’t even feel safe alone in her own home.  The feeling of not being able to protect what or who you love is horrible…. that’s why now we have a gun.  🙂

5. For those of you who are kind of in the loop, my brother has been battling some medial issues  for several years now, and February was just not a good month. It takes an emotional toll on all of us.   On the upside though, the FDA just approved (as in yesterday!) a new drug that might help in fighting his condition.  He’ll be one of the fist people in the hospital, maybe even the state to receive the treatment. Everyone cross your fingers.

6. One of our ferrets, Alice, died just days after my return from ALC after a tragic accident.  It was horrible. It was eye opening to see how fast one can become attached to pets. We were all upset over her death.

But as the month came to and end, things started to look up.  We got to take the girls to a park and shoot off some rockets.  Addison loves it!  We also did a little bit of GeoCaching, and Whittney found her first one!!  So congrats to her.  

 

Obviously I was gone for our first Valentines day together, so I made it up to her by taking a trip to The Melting Pot in Seattle, the first one we went to together, and surprised her by having a dozen pink roses waiting for her at the table.  Needless to say, dinner was delicious. I mean come on, it’s the fucking melting pot!  If you haven’t been there yet, get with it and treat yourself to awesomeness!

At the end of February, I sorta kinda spontaneously went out and bought a car. Might I add it’s a NEW car? As in I’m the 1st owner of it.. EVER!   I’ll blog about it later, because its quite an achievement in my life.  But let me say, it’s quite sexy.  Vroom Vroom.

And finally, I want to congratulate Whittney for her accomplishment while I was away for a month.  For 28 days, she jumped right into a hardcore diet and exercise routine where she worked out twice a day.  Her hard efforts and dedication was rewarded with a loss of 20lbs in just 28 days!!! I don’t care who you are, that’s freaking phenomenal.  It was her preparation to begin… *drum roll please….*

P90X !!! 

Both of us have just begun our 2nd week of P90X together, and might I say, it’s so much more motivating ,fun, and challenging doing it with a partner… I’m talking about P90X guys… geeze… get your mind out of the gutter.

Until next time!

Dear Lazy Bitch

-[ Based On A True Story]-

Dear Lazy Bitch,
Why are you so lazy?
Please… I believe that I, and several other innocent people are due a ridiculous mockery of an explanation.
Please tell me why you decided it was a good idea to drive on the interstate without adequate amount of fuel in your car. Was it because you thought you could make it to the next gas station JUST BEFORE you ran out of gas? Or was it because you were just too damn lazy to put even 15 dollars in your tank before leaving in the morning? … I’m going with the ladder.

Dear Lazy Bitch, please tell me why you decided that when you ran out of gas and rolled the front at a stop light of a busy intersection / onramp at the beginning of rush hour, blocking non-lazy people who took the initiative and left their homes 10minutes early to provide their vehicles with sufficient fuel, did you decide to just sit in your car and do nothing….?

Dear Lazy Bitch, did you take the time to say “thank you” to the semi-truck driver (who was by no means a young-buck) pulling a rather large trailer after he got out of his truck (and it’s a climb you know), ran up to your window and attempted to translate the silly gestures with your hands and repeated lame attempts at formulating words through your window, and then pushed your car through the intersection for you????

Dear Lazy Bitch…Wha… Wha… What…. What are you doing now? Why are you stopping again!?!  The nice old trucker gentlemen pushed you through the intersection, reviving the heartbeat of morning traffic… just so you could apparently roll 6 inches to the other side of the intersection and stop again?! I don’t think so, but apparently you do….

DEAR LAZY BITCH!!!! DO YOU THINK THIS TYPE OF BEHAVIOR IS ACCEPTABLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE YOU’RE FUCKING FOUR-WAY FLASHERS ON!?   WHY ARE YOU STILL IN YOUR CAR SITTING THERE LOOKING AROUND LIKE THE LAZY MORON IDIOT YOU ARE???!!!  YOU HAVE MADE IT INTO THE BEGININGS OF THE TURN LANE FOR THE GAS STATION YOU THOUGHT YOU REACH, AND YOU ARE STILL SITTING IN YOUR FUCKING CAR LIKE A MORON.  YOU’RE 25 FEET AWAY!!!!  WAS THE TRUCKERS EFFORTS ALL FOR NOTHING?!  ARE YOU EVEN AMAERICAN?!

Dear Lazy Bitch, if you were anybody else… I would have helped you by pushing you into the gas station, but … you’re dumb. So that’s why I, and everybody else behind me, are going to drive by you giving you the middle finger.

Dear Lazy Bitch, You look good in my rearview mirror. When someone who hadn’t witnessed your stupidity decides to help you out and push you to the gas pump 25 feet from where you’re sitting, I hope you do these four things.

1. Tip the man generously. In fact… just give him everything in your bank account minus 100 dollars.

2. Take 60 of the dollars to fill up your ugly golden Ford Taurus. It’s not your cars fault your stupid, and it shouldn’t be penalized for your stupidity. 

3. With the remaining 40 dollars in your bank account… deep throat the nozzle of the fuel pump so that the environmentally friendly fume cap seals over your mouth.  Squeeze the handle and fill your retarded body with fuel. You’ll know when you’ve topped off when the fuel squirts out your nose…

4. Die.

Everybody wins.
And you’re car has a full tank!

With Zero-Love,
  – Martin

So That Was Christmas

…and a Happy New Year. 

WoW. The difference between my 2009 Christmas Vs. my 2010 Christmas was insane! Lets see, in 2009 I was in Afghanistan. Going into the Holiday season I was relatively excited, well to the best of my ability given the circumstance. I had received a few gifts from my Family, Friends, Soldier Support Organizations, and a girl I had been talking to / was interested in at the time. I had managed to score a little Christmas tree, and I put my gifts under it. I also participated in a Holiday Fun Run that was a little bit over 5miles, and, saw a USO show with Alana Grace, some Dallas Cowgirl Cheerleaders, and and a Comedian by the name of Sheryl Underwood who was freaking hilarious.

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2010 on the other hand. Was EPIC!!!
Not only did I get to spend it with my Mother, but I also got to spend it with my girlfriend and her children.  I didn’t realize how excited I was for Christmas until we went shopping for the girls for the first time.  I was suddenly having flash backs to when I was a kid, and was incredibly excited for Christmas! We couldn’t stop pulling toys off the shelf. It would have made sense for us to grab two shopping carts, but it was much more fun seeing how high we could stack the gifts. AND THAT WAS JUST ONE TRIP !!! Then I remembered all the small things about Christmas, that are all just as equally important and fun; making and decorating cookies for Santa with a glass of milk, ginger bread houses, stockings and more!!! It was going to be the best Christmas EVER!!! for EVERYONE!!!

Days leading up to, and including Christmas-eve were SO much fun!!! The girls had a blast.  We had so many activities to do, we didn’t get to do them all!!

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After we left the milk and cookies out for Santa, Whittney thought it would be a cool idea to make a wall of wrapping paper for the girls to bust through in the morning. Kind of like a high school football team does at games.  It turned out incredibly awesome, and I was super excited to break through the wall myself in the morning! I was so excited for the following morning that I had a hard time sleeping.  It was like I was a little kid again.  Whittney and my mother were excited too!!!

The next morning, the girls ran towards the living room area excited for Christmas, when they realized instead that there was a new holiday wall separating them and utopia. With her hands on her face in shock, wide eyes, and jaw to the floor mouth, Addison proclaimed, “Oh my gawsh! It’s so beuuuu-tiful!”  Then they realized Santa had eaten their beautifully decorated cookies, and drank the milk that was left out the night prior.  Then it clicked; “Santa brought us presents!”  And after a minute of confusion, they managed to break through the wall with the after realizing that the wall wasn’t going to hurt them.

After almost an hour of opening presents, everybody had quite a number of gifts!!! Santa had brought the girls a “Princess Castle” / Playhouse with a tunnel for them to crawl in / through, and their own little princess dinning table to eat at. They got lots of additions to their Doll House, Movies, and too many toys to list, or even comprehend!! They received mounds of presents from their grandparents; everything from books, DVDs, cute clothes, and a Toy Train Set (they love Thomas the Train) and even a Dora the Explorer couch that folds out into a bed type of thing that they LOVE! Their father got them a dancing and singing Mickey Mouse Doll to share. It’s taught me how to moonwalk, so thank you Mickey.

Whittney and my Mother made out pretty well too. Whittney got lots of movies, clothes, books, and boots.  She also scored some pretty awesome kitchenware, the board game Ticket To Ride (if you haven’t played it, you need to!), and much more.  But perhaps the most hilarious thing she got, was a gift card for In-N-Out, because you know – we have them in Washington (oh wait…we don’t), haha. It’s kind of a running inside joke in the family though, so it was a good laugh. My mother got a awesome shirt, some girly wallet / purse / shoulder bag stuff, and high dollar Gene Juarez Salon / Spa gift card. My brother had to work, but he made out pretty well too.

But there was an unexpected twist that came about mid-Christmas Day!! I had gotten a call from my father saying that he was going to be passing through the area after dropping a friend off at the Airport. Turned out, he was coming by to spread some Christmas Cheer on behalf of his close friend Erin, and her family. To give you a quick summery, every year for the holiday season, Erin and her extended family come together to help out someone.  They’ll do things for the homeless, collect toys for children of low income families, disabled families, or just make generous donations to organizations.  Basically, they spread Christmas cheer. 

Well this year, they decided to do something for me since this was my first holiday back from Afghanistan.  I had caught wind of the idea, and politely declined said gesture of generosity, knowing that it could go to someone else.  But as we all know, women can be strong headed, and her family set out to do something for a soldier who just returned from a combat zone. Just so happened to be, that solider was me. Not only did they bring Whittney and I all kinds of things for our Apartment, but they also brought some toys and stuff for the girls! So bam!, it was like Christmas 2.0 for the girls. From her (Erin’s) family, the girls each received fairy dress-up clothes complete with wings (The girls LOVE Tinkerbelle) and some dolls.

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So all and all it was a Christmas that will be hard to match, let alone top. The girls can’t thank enough everyone who donated gifts, and sent gifts to them this past holiday season. Whittney and I are extremely grateful ourselves. A special “thank you” from the girls to Grandma and Grandpa Ripplinger, Grandma Webb, and Grandpa Thomas for the plethora of gifts and love.  And a very special thank you to my Mother for spending Christmas-eve and Day with all of us, it was so much fun. And again, to Erin’s Family who brought down donated gifts for both Whitt and I, as well as the girls.

….AND of course you know I’ve got to talk about food now that the whole Christmas Spirit part is knocked out. I’ll make it brief….

OH….MY…..GOD!!! Damn, Whittney sure can make one hell of a Christmas-eve dinner. She made a huge thing of the most amazing mashed potatoes you’ve ever had (they’ve got cheese in ‘em, and will put any other mashed potatoes in existence to shame), some lovely steamed veggies, and the highlight… (I’m about to cry just thinking of it), a monstrous Brown Sugar Honey Glazed Ham. You want to talk about heaven… jeebus, it was amazing. The girl can cook. Mmmmmmm So yeah. Ham is my weakness, so I had to mention it.

You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted this ham. Can’t wait for next year!!!

Hope you all had a great Christmas too!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

New Year – New Blog

In celebration of the New Year, I am launching a New Blog.  As I anticipate that most followers will know me through my Other Blog Site, this site will differ drastically as it will pull away from anything military affiliated. With that being said, my other site will focus more soley on Military related issues ie: Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and it’s Repeal, or Wiki Leaks?! 

Now granted, some aspects of my life are will forever be intimately intertwined with the military, you won’t find me talking about Awards and Decorations, Uniforms,or the Sergeant Major of the Army on here.

I have several entries that need to be beautified before posting, and even some Audio editing to do, but I am very excited for this Blog.

So please, be patient as this site grows into its own. 

Stay Tuned, and thanks for visiting!

~Martin